Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. (more…)

There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
“Tell you what. I have a proposition for you,” said the woman.
“If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?” (more…)

How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?
He couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer.
(more…)

A blonde walked into a hairdresser’s with a pair of headphones on and asked the hairdresser for a haircut – but “don’t touch the headphones o.k.?”
“Fine” said the hairdresser – a little taken aback – but happy for the work.
Three weeks later, the same blonde returned and asked for another haircut but with the same condition, “Whatever you do … don’t touch the headphones” (more…)

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!” (more…)

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The townsman watched as he slowly dismounted and tied his horse to the rail outside the saloon.

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of the horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don’t shine. (more…)